speachless part 2

I am in a cool white room now, i haven't opened my eyes for fear of the light but the whiteness burns through them still. I am so numb, i can still feel a dull ache in my body, well at least the half of it with any feeling, but its bearable thanks to a large dose of morphine. A while ago, after being surrounded by poking prodding doctors and nurses and pushed on and off and ex-ray bed, my brother Jake was with me. He tolled me he was alright and dad was on his way to the hospital. Then i was lifted onto a soft bed and left alone. I wish there was somebody here, i know i can't talk to them and i'd be too afraid to open my eyes, but still any company would be better than the beeping machines above my left shoulder. What i wouldn't give to shut them off! Beep...Beep...Beep YAY thrilling stuff aughh i wish the morphine would numb my brain and put me into a nice deep sleep. I am drowsy and it's making my feel dizzy. I wonder if this is how mum felt before she died, it's been ten years since she died. She was on a hike with her sister over the ridge, and some idiot lit a fire just outside of her campsite. They brought her into the hospital with smoke inhalation and third degree burns, she was sedated and being monitored but she didn't last the night. My aunt died a few hours later on the bed next to her. None of us got to say good by, the hospital didn't find out who they where to call us till late the next day. Only dad went to identify the body's, he didn't speak more than a few words for almost two years afterwords. I don't want to go like that, i have so much more i want to do, and i don't want to hurt my dad. I do wish someone would tell me whats wrong with me, it's really frustrating. Maybe they'll tell dad in the room when he gets here and i can listen in....this morphine is really good........i'm so tired....mum, no?........i.......sorry Jake....don't want to die.......